


Harley Quinn and the Earth 3 Excursion

by SpyStories



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019), Harley Quinn (Comics), Suicide Squad (Comics)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26568790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpyStories/pseuds/SpyStories
Summary: While working for Task Force X, Harley Quinn is transported to another world where she meets someone familiar...
Kudos: 5





	Harley Quinn and the Earth 3 Excursion

  
  
Amanda Waller looked over the rag tag group of supervillains she had assembled for this mission and gave the usual speech.

"If you try to escape, you'll be blown up by the nanite bombs implanted in your necks. Would anyone like to try me?"

Harley Quinn rolled her eyes behind a comic book she was reading as she waited for someone to inevitably try the system and get blown up. It happened, and now there was blood all over her new dress! Harley tried to wipe it away in disgust and mild annoyance.

"Here we go again," she said to herself.

"Would anyone else like to try me?" Waller growled.

"No ma'am," the group said.

Harley didn't know most of the members of the crew. They were chosen at random and were usually supervillains from other parts of the country and sometimes the world. Normally, she would spend some time getting to know them, but today just wasn't the day. She was allowed to get depressed sometimes, wasn't she? It's not like she was there solely for others' amusement all the time, or was she? She still had this impression that she was some kind of comic book character, as weird as that sounded.

She shook her head. It was probably some kind of trick Mr. J played on her while he was with her. He made her believe all sorts of things that weren't true. He also got in trouble and left Harley to clean up his messes. In fact, she probably wouldn't even be on this stupid team in danger of getting her brain blown up if it wasn't for his hair-brained schemes.

"Thanks, Puddin," she growled to herself.

Harley turned and followed the others out of the cell. It was nice to taste freedom again. Her neck ached where they injected the nanite bomb, reminding her that she wasn't as free as she felt. Still, it was a welcome change from being in a prison cell. She had three life sentences for the crimes she committed while she was with the Joker. Now, she was down to two life sentences. Hey, if they kept this up, she might be a free woman.

The group was herded toward a plane and directed to board. Harley put on a heavy backpack that perhaps contained a parachute. Oh great. Whatever this mission was it involved her jumping from a plane. She just wasn't in the mood today.

She sighed as she listened to the latest mission.

"STAR Labs has created an interdimensional travel device. It's being kept on a remote island. I want you to steal it for us. Any questions?"

Harley raised a hand.

"Yes?"

"What do you need with the device?" Harley asked.

"That's none of your concern," Waller said tersely.

Harley rolled her eyes again. Typical. She wouldn't even tell them why they were getting the device.

Suddenly, the doors of the plane opened. Harley winced as she was pushed into the open air.

An exhilarating feeling hit her as she was freefalling. She took in the air, put on a calm face, and started laughing. It reminded her uncomfortably of her first "date" with Mr. J. She would never forget the chemicals stinging and itching as they bleached her skin.

Harley looked at the others mid free fall who were puzzled at why she was suddenly so chipper. This made her smile even more. She loved being the center of attention and keeping people guessing.

"Uh oh..."

With all of the fun she was having trying to psych out the people she was with, she almost forgot to pull her chute.

Harley reached for the cord and pulled it. Nothing.

"What? You've gotta be..."

Suddenly, she hit the trees. Harley felt her body stinging from the landing.

"Ouch..."

How did she survive that? Back to the comic book theory again. She rolled her eyes as she climbed down and dusted herself off. Surveying the damage, she found herself no worse for wear. That fall would have crippled a normal person.   
  
"Thanks, Ive," Harley whispered, referring to the shot Poison Ivy gave her that boosted her durability.   
  
"Now to get to STAR Labs and steal that interdimensional doo-hicky, " Harley said. She was acting chipper now, even though there was no one around. They must have landed somewhere else. It wasn't a problem.   
  


Harley used to work at STAR Labs, so she was fairly familiar with the layout. This required stealth and a little disguise, so she knocked out one of the scientists and "borrowed" scrubs and a lab coat.   
  


Once the coast was clear, she ran to one of the bathrooms.  
  
"Oh, I chipped a nail." Harley mused sarcastically.   
  
Her skin still looked unnaturally pale, the result of the bath Joker gave her. She needed to put on makeup. Luckily, she stole some from a purse that was lying in the bathroom. By a wonderful coincidence, it was the right color for her skin, too. Quickly, she put the makeup on over her ivory skin. The disguise was complete. She then snuck into the room where they were keeping the device.   
  
"Gentlemen, I present to you the future of space-time travel." a scientist said.   
  
Harley rolled her eyes.   
  
"Doesn't he know there are ladies in the room, too?" she whispered to a random scientist. There was no response. She gave a sigh and an annoyed look and then turned back to face the stage.   
  
On the display table was a tiny ring-like device. She couldn't get to it while the presentation was going on. She'd look too suspicious.   
  
Harley waited and waited until the scientist was done with his presentation. Hours must have passed. It felt like it took forever, but finally, the scientist was finished and the room was beginning to clear out. 

This was her chance.   
  
Harley stealthily crept up to the device and palmed it off of the display stand. Now to get out before someone noticed it was missing.   
  
"This device is incredible. It'll change the world."  
  
Harley heard the idle chatter of scientists as she pressed through them to get to the exit. Suddenly, there was a bright flash. Harley looked up to find herself outside. She breathed a sigh of relief and took out the ring and shouted, "Ha! Mission accomplished."   
  
Now it was time to get back to Waller.   
  
Harley took out a walkie talkie and signaled. There was nothing but static.   
  
"Hey, I wonder where everyone else went?"

She looked around. Something wasn't right. Somehow, this place looked dirtier and more decayed than it did when she saw it a few hours ago. There was also a fence that didn't seem to be there the last time. Plus, why couldn't she signal any members of the team? 

Harley had a sneaking suspicion she was about to find out.   
  
\-----

All around the island, there were billboards with graffiti. There were "ha's" written on almost everything. She could also make out the words, "Owlman sucks."

She wondered who this Owlman character was. She once wrote a book with a character called Owlman, but this couldn't be the character from her book, could it? No, that was absurd. Crazy. Like her. In a world with aliens, mind control, ghosts, zombies, magic fairytales, etc., her winding up in her own book wouldn't be the strangest thing that ever happened to her. Not really.

Still, though, she had never heard of Owlman before, and she wouldn't have missed huge billboards advertising him on her way in. 

She had other things to worry about. The sun was going down, and she hadn't been able to get in touch with the rest of the team or Waller. There was just static on the communicator. It was beginning to feel like one of those eerie sci-fi movies she sometimes watched, and it was getting weirder. 

The city on the island was now a ghost town. The buildings were abandoned. It looked like people hadn't lived in them for years. She looked back at the STAR labs building where she exited, and it too was old and abandoned.   
  
"Hollee post-apocalyptic tolee," Harley said. 

That ring must have sent her to another place in time.

It was also getting late. The sun was starting to go down. 

Harley took out the ring and started playing with it in hopes of having it send her back, but she had no idea how to work it. She also felt like she was being followed. She could hear shadows looming in the distance.   
  
In her world, that would mean Batman or one of the other superheroes was out on patrol. Harley was used to having to watch out for them so that they wouldn't catch her, and she had a keen sense of hearing. 

Suddenly, something landed softly behind her. She whipped around. It looked like Batman.   
  
"Oh, hey-yo Batsy," Harley greeted, "listen I was wonderin' if--" 

"Give me your money," the caped man demanded. 

"Oh, Bats, your such a kidder. Look, I need--"

Harley was cut off by the sound of sharp metal being pulled out of a sheath. She could barely make it out in the shadows, but it looked like one of the bat-shaped shurikens Batman carries in his utility belt. 

"Give me your money before I slash your throat," the figure growled. 

Harley was having trouble processing it. It looked like Batman, and it sounded like Batman, but it somehow wasn't.   
  
"Oh, you're, you're serious?" Harley asked.   
  
The figure growled in response. 

"I'm always serious," the figure growled. 

"Listen, I've been enjoying this conversation, but I really need ta get going. See you later," she said as she attempted to back away slowly. 

While she was backing away, she stepped into the light and exposed the ring she was wearing.   
  
Suddenly, a gauntleted hand caught her by the wrist.   
  
"And where did you get that? Looks expensive," the figure said, motioning to the ring.   
  
"What this old thing? It's nothing, really--hey!"  
  
"In that case I'll be taking it, then." 

"Give it back!"

In a split second, her fear turned to rage. Harley ran to the figure and launched herself into a spinning kick. It hit his armor, and the figure fell back.   
  
"You're going to regret that."  
  
"You're gonna regret tryin ta steal from me!" Harley yelled. 


End file.
